Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's rum buckets o'clock
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize