He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
