fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
