I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
