ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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