The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
