I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize