If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
