we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
