Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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