My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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