whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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