I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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