I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize