Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
