I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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