I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
