i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize