how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
