Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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