You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
