How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
