u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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