alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
