sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
