He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
