i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
