just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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