PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
