Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
