i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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