i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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