i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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