At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
