Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
