so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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