If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
