remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
