college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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