ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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