I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
