So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
