Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
3pm strippers are depressing
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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