Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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