Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
