Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They took my balls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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