We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
now i know why i became what i already was.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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