There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
