dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize