Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
