why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize