So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
