i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
