You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
