you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
