you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
