Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
