Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
