i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
