Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
its liver damage thursday
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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