we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
