I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
