There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
