We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
